Five signs I am not ready for a multicultural environment.

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One. “Tore’s game would be like Candyland, except twice as gay.” – as said to a lesbian couple.

Two. Her: “Give me something to Google Image Search.” Me: “Interracial dating.” – as said to an intteracial couple.

Three. “Is this a Bollywood movie?” – as said to an Indian production assistant, working on an episode of Law & Order. In my defense, I was told there was a Bollywood production in that area.

Four. “I hear things in Marvin Gaye’s music black people will never hear.” – for some reason a half-Japanese/half-Puerto Rican kid found this very offensive.

Five. “Ahh, Florida. God’s waiting room.” – as said to a very fragile Floridian transplant. Then trying to explain myself: “I mean it’s like when dogs go out to the woods to die.”


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