Black Eyed Women

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I think one of the biggest blunders in the history of United States race relations was the addition of a white woman to Black Eyed Peas. She sets back white people about 30 years. “B-b-b-but she rocks shell-toed Adidas!” Bitches, please. Missy can go back to 1984 if she wants to, white people have no choice but to embrace pre-Public Enemy hip hop because it was all about “havin’ a good time”, not about hitting people with “bop guns” or horse-mounted “regulators”. I don’t see any valley girls in NWA or the Flipmode Squizzod.

Not that the Black Eyed Peas were the pinnacle of blackness either. They have an asian guy in there. One time, I heard this AZN freestyle called “White People Make Me Sick” over the LFO beat for “Summer Girls” (I shit you not, homie). Best line? “Yo white people, it’s like whenever I look at y’all, I can’t cov..[sic], I have to cover my eyes, cause the sun shine, the sun shines so bright your off your face, damn, yo, get behind this tree before I fall down, from the blindness coming off of your face! White people make me sick!” Sorry bro, sorry. I will tone down my illumination.

But seriously, after about 3 minutes of tested-true computer-on-the-internet research, “Fergie” (aka Snowpiece from Black Eyed Peas) used to be on KIDS Incorporated (NO, HOMIE, I AM NOT SHITTING YOU). But seriously, who gives an f what the Black Eyed Peas do. “Let’s Get Retarded in Here”? That is offensive. You’d think a white woman in a rap group would know what it feels like to be mentally handicapped.


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