Reasons Why There Isn’t a Ghost in your Brooklyn Apartment
10. Ghosts don’t particularly like to be interrupted by garbage trucks
09. Do you have a washer/dryer in-unit? No? Ghosts can go through walls to better apartments
08. Ghosts need to be buzzed in. Did you buzz anyone in?
07. Previous owner used the place as a pied-à-terre - so, didn’t have a soul
06. Everyone knows If you die in Brooklyn you become a bodega cat and you’ll like it
05. Brooklinen sheets too heavy for paranormal use
04. Technically your artist loft apartment isn’t zoned for residential use (Ghosts HATE this NY loophole)
03. Ghosts don’t have a watch and often miss their 15 minute window to scare you between when the bar lets out downstairs and when the guy starts making the donuts
02. OK, there is a ghost, but maybe offer them a drink and celebrate the fact we're not just worm snacks - they probably have a cool story to tell! If they didn’t, they’d be in Heaven - not your apartment
01. Montauk was cheap back then, probably haunting there
