Frank Serpico: Fashion Police

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Serpico (1973) is a film with Al-Pacino about an NYPD cop who struggles to expose corruption in the force. Or is there a deeper crime being committed here…

31PM
Man, this shirt chaffs. Something is dirty in this department. The clothes!

06PM
I know I’m supposed to be in plainclothes but this is ridiculous…time to make some changes around here.

01PM
Sir, I’m suggesting we mandate at least 3 shirt buttons undone. I can’t breathe out there!

05PM
I’m talking all sorts of accessories, like this hat. You like this hat? Yeah you do.

10PM
What’s a matter, you don’t want to be my partner? It’s ok, I already got a partner. This cute lil’ mouse. This mouse will never ask me to take money. What’s that mouse? Not you too!

11PM
Why won’t anyone in this department take me seriously?

13PM
Now, this vest may not be bulletproof, but it would be a crime to shoot a police officer dressed as good as this. Ya dig?

16PM
Every cop should have a motorcycle. It doesn’t even need to run, it’s just for the look.

20PM
Dear God, man, what are those, lapels? I got a lot of work to do here…

21PM
Be cool, Serpico. If you could handle high school you sure as hell can handle the NYPD.

22PM
Mama, I swear on Saint-Panera-of-Napoli I’m gonna have the whole department in polyester. Just you watch.

23PM
How did you not know I was a cop? What did you think I was, a house painter?

26PM
Internal affairs is going to plotz when they see this outfit. Now STRUT.

27PM
Feast your eyes gentlemen, now this is how a cop should dress. Any questions?

30PM
Excuse me officer, my eyes are up here.

33PM
Socks & Sandals, gents. It’s summer and IDGAF.

35PM
I would say more, but this button is basically on my neck. It’s right on my neck, officer. Can I have some paper and pen, please.

37PM
I feel like I’m being alienated from the force, chief, and I think it’s because I’m too honest. No other possible explanation. Just my outlandish, flamboyant honesty.

38PM
I’m serious, Mike. You have 10 seconds to tell me where the sample sale is.

40PM
Why is it so hard to believe she’s my girlfriend? Honey, tell them how often we do it.

42PM
Oh shit am I wearing two types of plaid? Gotta run home and change!

46PM
I know what a joint is, man. We have plenty of these in NeverNever…I mean…Ohio.

49PM
It’s not funny Laurie! No one in the department trusts me or wants to come to my clothing swap.

53PM
No, chief, I didn’t know ponytails were against regulation. I assure you I don’t have a ponytail.

55PM
It hurts to look this good. No, really, my shield is pinned to my nipple.

56PM
Okay, maybe the suspenders were a bit much…

57PM
Just going to walk up and down Bill Cunningham’s street until he notices me.

73PM
Incident report? No this is a letter to the higher-ups at Esquire about the state of emergency that is this police department. S.O.S.

77PM
Notice anything…different about me lately?

83PM
Oh Tim Gunn, why don’t they understand me like you understand me.

97PM
Do I look like the type of cop who takes bribes? Ok, how about a regular person who takes bribes?

98PM
OK, Laurie, now I didn’t read this letter, but I assume you’re leaving me because of my steadfast refusal to be part of a corrupt police force. Now…no, it’s not a man-purse! It’s a saddlebag, duh.

99PM
Will someone please come get this thing off my neck!

 

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