Pop Has Eaten Itself

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There was an episode of Punky Brewster where Uncle Henry is addicted to sleeping pills. He obtained these pills from a black character, presumably Cherry’s dad. I distinctly remember Punky flushing the pills on the night that Uncle Henry needed lots of rest because there was a big wedding the next day he was supposed to photograph. He spent the whole night in disarray and seeing dead babies on the ceiling, but it turns out he ended up getting six whole hours of sleep without the need for hard drugs. It was an amazing episode. I was waiting to overhear my future wife retell that same episode to a gathered crowd at a party, but instead I just blew that load on WarForever.com. Why? Because reference humor is dead. Within 10 years of its critical mass, it is no longer considered cool, witty, or zany to remember some retarded detail of an obscure movie you like ironically.

I was going to post something about America: We Stand As One, because it is awesome, and have probably watched it about 50 times. This morning I see it lambasted on Best Week Ever. It became quite obvious you can no longer be that guy who unearths rare treasures of media for the enjoyment of others. I was going to play Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation for a DJ night, then she goes and performs that exact 20 year old song at the Super Bowl. Think you’re clever and going to include an homage to a film you like, or think one song is your anthem? Fuck you and die. Were you catalouging some quotes from Fast Times at Ridgemont High while others were out making memories not related to fictional characters? There are thousands of ‘individuals’ just like you, who will name drop it to a larger audience than you can. Then you’ll be standing there, looking like a stupid idiot with a $50 LP of “You’re the Best Around” by Joe Esposito that you thought no one else remembered from The Karate Kid.

So it’s pretty obvious you’ve mistaken nostalgia and kitsch for originality and bravery. It’s not unique to align yourself with fringe productions simply because no one knows about it. We have been conditioned since day one to process and consume information from the media, why are we congratulating ourselves for doing such an excellent job? Hey man, aren’t I just an independent thinker for remembering an anti-drug ad that was designed to get my attention and be memorable? Isn’t it stupid fresh we share the same memory of Cherry being locked in a fridge instead of stories from our own lives? Aren’t we just loco for knowing all the words to “Jump Around” because we’ve heard this song over 1,000 times and the rhymes are simple and melodic? Until I figure out this phenomenon, I will rock out to El Debarge’s Rhythm of the Night and watch Slaughter High because they remind of a time that may have been when people created and loved ridiculous and silly things without even knowing they shouldn’t be liking it. I whole heartedly reccomend you obtain both and do the same, because they are both remarkably enjoyable. But remember who told you about them! I have a distinct pallate for irony and that’s all I have! I have serious emotional issues that I refuse to address! Holla atcha boy! Please?


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