Frank Serpico as told through High Fashion

Serpico (1973) is a film with Al-Pacino about an NYPD cop who struggles to expose corruption in the force.

Or is there a deeper crime being committed here...

Man, this shirt chaffs. Something is dirty in this department. The clothes!

I know I'm supposed to be in plainclothes but this is ridiculous...time to make some changes around here.

Sir, I'm suggesting we mandate at least 3 shirt buttons undone. I can't breathe out there!

I'm talking all sorts of accessories, like this hat. You like this hat? Yeah you do.

What's a matter, you don't want to be my partner? It's ok, I already got a partner. This cute lil' mouse. This mouse will never ask me to take money. What's that mouse? Not you too!

Why won't anyone in this department take me seriously?

Now, this vest may not be bulletproof, but it would be a crime to shoot a police officer dressed as good as this. Ya dig?

Every cop should have a motorcycle. It doesn't even need to run, it's just for the look.

Dear God, man, what are those, lapels? I got a lot of work to do here...

Be cool, Serpico. If you could handle high school you sure as hell can handle the NYPD.

Mama, I swear on

Saint-Panera-of-Napoli

I'm gonna have the whole department in polyester. Just you watch.

How did you not know I was a cop? What did you think I was, a house painter?

Internal affairs is going to

plotz

when they see this outfit. Now STRUT.

Feast your eyes gentlemen, now 

this

is how a cop should dress. Any questions?

Excuse me officer, my eyes are up here.

Socks & Sandals, gents. It's summer and IDGAF.

I would say more, but this button is basically on my neck. It's right on my neck, officer. Can I have some paper and pen, please.

I feel like I'm being alienated from the force, chief, and I think it's because I'm too honest. No other possible explanation. Just my outlandish, flamboyant honesty.

I'm serious, Mike. You have 10 seconds to tell me where the sample sale is.

Why is it so hard to believe she's my girlfriend? Honey, tell them how often we do it.

Oh shit am I wearing two types of plaid? Gotta run home and change!

I know what a joint is, man. We have plenty of these in NeverNever...I mean...da bronx.

It's not funny Laurie! No one in the department trusts me or wants to come to my clothing swap.

No, chief, I didn't know ponytails were against regulation. I assure you I don't have a ponytail.

It hurts to look this good. No, really, my shield is pinned to my nipple.

Okay, maybe the suspenders were a bit much...

Just going to walk up and down Bill Cunningham's street until he notices me.

Incident report? No this is a letter to the higher-ups at 

Esquire

about the state of emergency that is this police department. S.O.S.

Notice anything...different about me lately?

Oh Tim Gunn, why don't they understand me like you understand me.

Do I look like the type of cop who takes bribes? Ok, how about a regular person who takes bribes?

OK, Laurie, now I didn't read this letter, but I assume you're leaving me because of my steadfast refusal to be part of a corrupt police force. Now...no, it's not a man-purse! It's a saddlebag, duh.

Will someone

please

come get this thing off my neck!